I have been finding myself in an strange and unfamiliar place for the last couple of months …always having been someone that liked to reflect on past events and doing so by using experiences to allow Abba Father to teach me. I have always seen myself as having a teachable spirit…or so I thought..
In December 2017 whilst on leave I thought it would be appropriate to reflect, in a sense to take stock of my life and pray about the year that lay ahead..
It was at this time that Abba started writing on my heart that it was time to … unravel..
This obviously puzzled me as I had always linked the unravelling of person with a melt-down…or something to that extent.
The more I prayed about this, the more the picture started to … unravel (pardon the pun).
Whilst on the beach one day I saw a little girl building a sand castle. She put so much effort and pride into her creation, and every now and again she would run to her family to get their acknowledgment and applause for her tremendous effort…..completely unaware that the ocean behind her had slowly crept closer until it had completely destroyed her castle. Sobbing she ran into her Fathers open arms as he gently smiled, wiped away her tears and skillfully diverted her attention away from the catastrophe by handing her something to eat …
I smiled at this and realized that in our own lives we are so often faced with the same scenario ….you see, so many times in our lives we think that what we are busy with will define us. We relentlessly build our own sandcastles in a sense, whether it’s a ministry, our careers, our family or friends… we spend endless hours trying to give our best. In ministry we give our all, heart and soul to please the heart of the Father ….BUT is our sole intention to please the heart of our heavenly Father or to obtain the approval and adoration of those around us?
I remember a conversation that I had a while ago with a Doctors friend of mine, discussing how burn-out affects people in ministry. He said something so powerful…he asked me what my self-worth would be if I were to be locked away for a given amount of time, unable to minister or worship. I obviously answered that it would be 100 %, as “I do what I do for Abba Father” after all right?
He continued to explain that so many times we tend to receive our self-worth from the people around us, whom we work with and minister to…we desperately crave acknowledgment, reward and recognition….just to be noticed? How many times have you not heard people say …”I’m doing this for God …but a thank-you would be nice …” You see, we so desperately want to fit in and be part of the greater good that in doing so we lose yourself , our self-worth in Abba Father. The approval of others and their perception become more important than the propose that Abba has birthed in us.
This reminded of Haggai 1: 9, where the prophet asked the nation whose house they were building. At that stage the Israelites were instructed by YHVH to rebuild His temple but they started to work on their own houses instead, forsaking the instruction to build the temple.
I realized that we constantly have to ask ourselves whose house we’re building. We can get so lost in the doing ….that we sometimes lose sight of the cause or the impact it has on those around us …and on our sacred intimate relationship with Abba Father. It’s so important to ensure that we are in God’s will first and foremost, and then to apply His order in our lives…
If you had to strip away everything you kept yourself busy with daily …your ministry, career, parenting, marriage and friendships, and only your soul essence remained ….do you still know who you are and what your purpose is according to the dream YHVH Elohim had breathed into you?
Attending our Emet Bible College for the past three years we spent months studying the meaning of Jer 1 : 5. If one were to break this verse down into the original Hebrew (Strong’s Dictionary), it reveals such a powerful picture, instead of unravelling you see the picture of a Creator that had a dream and a purpose for His children even before they were born. He sanctified and ordained you for a specific purpose before you were conceived. A master potter, forming His unique creation for a specific purpose .Do you feel that somewhere along the way you have lost who you are? Perhaps it’s time to quiet down …to allow the Father to unravel you ….time to allow the master potter to be the one turning the potter’s wheel …just as that beautiful song of Julius Megan says, “You be the potter and I’ll be the clay ….”